A soldiers view
by Aguna
Summary: Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke. Multi chapter story of how far Nightwing is willing to go without the others heroes as support, not so typical apprenticeship fic. Now with more Lex Luthor
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: don't own

* * *

Nightwing was tired, it was becoming harder and harder to get up in the morning and face the world. On an objective level he knew what was going on, his friends were hurting from the pain of the loose they suffered. It was natural to make him into the scapegoat and turn their grieve into anger directed at him. So he smiled acted as if everything was alright, as if their looks and words had no effect on him, because that was what they needed. Even though it was destroying him slowly, he was still a hero and being a hero meant making sacrifices.

Emotional exhausted he entered his apartment, the pictures with his family and friends on the walls seemed to be mocking him with their cheerfulness. The sudden urge to destroy them cursed through his veins, yet he simply turned around, changing the once warmth atmosphere into a sterile coldness, if it hadn't been for the half eaten apple on the table the room could have passed as being for rent. He undressed and lied down, falling into a restless sleep.

"You did the right thing you know." said a smooth voice from the shadows, destroying the pleasant numbness of being half awake. Turning the little lamp on his desk on the speaker turned out to be Deathstroke the Terminator dressed as a normal civilian. Yet he didn't make a move to defend himself. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to care about his own well-being...

"Yes coming from a high function sociopath this means so much to me", he said sarcastical, but instead of angering the older male he only got an amused smirk in return.

"Would you prefer my old sergeants words? 'sacrifices are a necessary evil, one life is nothing compared to the lives of your fellow soldiers, or the more poetic version the police 'Making an unpopular decision for the common good is the mark of a good police officer.

Dick froze, those words sounded good, he whole heartily agreed with them. Yet why of all the people had it do be Slade to understand him? "What is it to you?" he asked instead in a demanding tone, trying to ignore his own slightly confused feelings.

"Do you know what I think of heroes?" asked Slade in return, making Dick rather curious so he simply shook his head. " They are civilians playing dress up, none of them really understand the world out there. But you acted like a real soldier during the inversion, to be honest I've gained a certain amount of respect for you because of it while the others lost what little I had for them."

That was unexpected to say the least, "they are not weak", Dick started a bit weakly as Slade sharply cut in," they can't handle their own emotions so they punish the man who saved billions of lives, those ignorant backstabbing civilians are weak."

He winced not only because of the harsh words, but because a small part of him agreed, didn't the billions of lives he saved matter at all?

"Answer me one thing, do you regret your actions, actions which saved billions of lives fo the price of a few heroes who willing risked their lives everyday for their cause?"

Dick paused, he mourned what his actions had done for his social life, but no he didn't regret that he saved the world...  
The answer must have been written all over his face, because gave him a small pride filled smile.

"You are a soldier at heart boy, civilians shouldn't order you around or make you feel bad about yourself," the voice dropped into an almost hypnotic whisper," let me guide you and you will become great."

"I won't kill for you", he stated trying to sound much more convinced than he felt, this was the kindest conversation he had in weeks...

"I am not here because I agree with your ideals, I'm here because of your strength and I will be damned if I let the heroes destroy you."

Dick wanted to deny Slade's words, that the heroes weren't destroying him, that he was fine on his own, yet he couldn't form the words, couldn't convince his own mind to believe such lies.

"Can I think about your offer?", he asked instead. Slade nodded and left his apartment, leaving him alone to his thoughts.

* * *

Later that day he was in the tower, looking at the cold faces of his so-called friends, the words 'weak civilians' repeated themselves in his mind over and over...


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: don't own

-wow this got more feedback than I expected^^

-as for the characters, before you cry OOCness:

-Dick: he is emotional hurting, the personal loose and that the others, people he respects and admires paint him as a monster, is very hurtful. So Slade's explanation of the others behaviour as well as pride are like a glass of liquid for a man near dehydration, at this point you just don't care anymore if it water or poison

-Wally: Dick acts as if everything is fine outwards while he is grieving, wanting to make the seemingly heartless person suffer is human, no bashing intended

-Slade: well the man knows an opportunity when he sees one

* * *

Inhale 'weak', exhale 'civilian' , it was like with every breath he took Slade said those words again to him.

'Weak civilians'

He walked down the halls of the tower with a new self-confidence, he had saved the world hadn't he?

'Weak civilians'

Ignoring the dark looks or pointed show of looking away from him he continued on his path.

'Weak civilians'

Yes his methods might have been crude, but didn't he fight everyday with the knowledge it might kill him?

'Weak civilians'

And it would be an honour to die during a fight, that was the only respectable way for a hero to die wasn't it?

'Weak civilians'

He respected his fallen friends for their sacrifice.

'Weak civilians'

Weren't the other heroes with their behaviour almost disrespectful to their sacrifices, their death?

'Weak civilians'

People he once thought equal to gods, those he put on pedestals, trying but never actually expecting to become like them.

'Weak civilians'

With every breath he took those pedestals seemed to crumble...

'Weak civilians'

Yes, they were weak civilians, nothing more, nothing special...

'Weak civilians'

But as Slade said, they were just civilians, they didn't understand.

'Weak civilians'

He couldn't blame them for their ignorance either could he?

'Weak civilians'

If stupidity would be considered a crime, they wouldn't have enough prison cells. The thought brought an entertained smile to his lips, the look of disgust on Wally's face was simply ignored

'Weak civilians'

A hero shouldn't judge the behaviour of others if it didn't break a law.

'Weak civilians'

Strange how he seemed to be the only one to actually follow those rules...

'Weak civilians'

They let their emotions cloud their integrity as heroes didn't they?

'Weak civilians'

Yet he couldn't blame them for their weakness, what else could one expect from a bunch of civilians?

'Weak civilians'

They didn't have the spine to fight in a real battle.

'Weak civilians'

No as angry and hurt as he was, he wasn't one to let his emotions rule him, he wasn't so weak.

'Weak civilians'

Weakness was a civilian trait...

'Weak civilians'

So he simply smiled a small polite smile and hold his head high, clam self-confidence radiating from him like light from the sun.

'Weak civilians'

* * *

Disgusting.

If you asked Wally West to describe his former best friend in one word it would be the disgusting. Their friends were killed because of Nightwing and what did the man do? Smile like everything was alright in the world, as if it wasn't his fault that they were death...

Revolting.

How could Dick be so heartless, when had his friend become such a monster?

* * *

Slade smiled down at the younger male. It had been a week since his last visit and things were already changing. Previously Dick had seemed like a beaten dog, suffering through its owners actions with a smile, no matter what was done to him. Now he walked with a new self-awareness, reminding him of himself when he had been new in the army, when he life gained for the first time a purpose.

"I don't tolerate murderers in my city", stated the hero, ready to start a fight.

One week ago you wouldn't have struggled, would have welcomed death by my hand boy, he thought slightly amused. The new blood was always over-confident. It took a few beating to humble them, it had taken a few beatings to humble him...

"I am actually looking for a place to rest and Buldhaven does have his charms", he replied smoothly, "being a wanted man would be slightly contra productive so I would like to offer you a truce."

"A truce", repeated the hero, sounding more than a little wary, intelligent boy. "Tell my why should I agree to such a thing?"

Asked the boy wo gave everything for justice without a second thought, good he was gaining a sense of self-worth.

"Were do you train?" Slade asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Something dark flashed across the younger man's face, yes it couldn't be relaxing to train in an environment were most people hated you...

Instead of waiting for an answer he continued, "I have high standards for my personal training and with our truce in place you would be more than welcome to train there, too" , train with me, learn from me and a big sleeping-room for you will be there, too.

"It would be useful to learn more of your fighting style", Dick agreed slowly, making it sound as if it had been his own idea.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: don't own

-Rose will be ignored same as Joseph and Adeline, sorry if you expected something else

-without spoiling the story, yes Slade has a plan but it is not to destroy Dick, more will be in the next chapter^^

-the heroes do have feelings, just wanted to show that I don't bash them

* * *

What is left he wondered as he paroled the city, his city, in search of a criminal, Dick needed to beat up someone badly. The others heroes reaction to him was so ... disillusioning.

When he had been a small child the heroes seemed like gods. Acrobats, performers just like him and his family, but with their act they made a change, made the world better place with more than a few tricks to entertain the crowed. Becoming one of them had been a dream come true. How carefull he had been to avoid bruising in the obvious places to avoid concerned teachers and curious reporters. The hard training and keeping his grades up to Bruce's standard, getting respect as first child hero.  
Everything seemed so small compared to becoming one of them.

Now his world was changing, he felt like a small child which just learned that Santa Claus wasn't real. He was starting to question them, question himself, and the only one offering to listen and provide answers was Slade...

Well it couldn't hurt to learn where Slade lived could it? What equipment the man used and how he trained, every information could be written in the man's profile. Convinced by his own arguments he decided to give Slade a chance...

* * *

Wally looked around the empty gym, normally he would use this time to train with Dick. Despite his own hurt feelings and Dick being well a dick, he still missed his best friend...

Bruce closed with a tired sign his eyes. The hero, the Bat understood Dick actions, would have done the same thing. However Bruce couldn't help being scared of what was his oldest son becoming. Dick had always seemed to be unaffected by the harsh teachings of the Bat. Had he misjudged his own child to such an extent? For as much as he loved Tim, the young boy hadn't watched his parents die. Dick had always been more than his child, he was/is his equal. If Dick changed what did that mean for him?

The simple truth was that he just didn't know how to handle the situation, so he tried to ignore it. Once the feelings calmed down everything would ge back to normal. Dick was going to make stupid jokes and fight along him, after all this wasn't the first time a hero made a mistake, it will be forgotten in no time...

* * *

Slade smirked down at the short text message, Dick had agreed to train with him. Wintergreen would have to make sure the safe house was ready, he had an appointment with Lex Luthor. He needed to establish Buldhaven including its hero as his property, it wouldn't be for some stupid villian to take the chance to attack Nightwing, call another hero in the city and give them time to rediscover their relationship. No if everything went his way than their next conversation was going to be after Dick changed his name and costume as proof of his loyalty to him...


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: don't own

-well I started the story because I got a little bored of Dick becoming a danger to himself after the inversion and the other heroes only thinking of him after he harms himself, not really sure where this story is going...

-sorry if the short chapters annoy you, but I don't really write fight scenes, or watch them for that matter, so the focus will be on the emotional and mental developement

-bromance and father/son relationships, writing romance and plot is still a little too much for me to handle

-here we go what do you think are both Luthor and Slade in character? Writing this was a nightmare^^

* * *

Lex Luthor leaned back in his chair, the day promised to be interesting...

Under normal circumstance an appointment with Slade Wilson was a rather simple matter. The man was one of the best in his field, a more than competent employee, one to be hired when needed for a rather delicate situation. He wasn't cheap, but quality came with a price that was not the problem. Yet it wasn't him, Lex Luthor, who wanted the meeting but Deathstroke, which created the question why? Men like Wilson, men like himself, fought their own battles, asking for help was like admitting defeat to them, so a fight should be out of question. As for his technology it was brilliant, yes, but there was little one couldn't buy and he really couldn't image Deathstroke having financial problems. The thought alone seemed absurd. Of course someone wanting him dead and getting Wilson for the job was a possibility, yet he had enough money to make the man reconsider and kill his first employer, it wouldn't be the first time something like this happened with the mercenary involved. A certain royal family was proof for that.  
In conclusion he couldn't think of anything Wilson might want of him or his help for a rather disorienting feeling, how some people claimed that ignorance was bliss was beyond him.

"Mr. Wilson has arrived", sounded the voice from his secretary, a sweet looking asian woman who could kill a man within 5 seconds, a man had to keep standards hadn't he? He dismissed the idea of letting Wilson wait, until he had reason to act otherwise it was the best to keep the man in his good graces. Straightening his spin he sat with a perfect posture in his chair, that he didn't believe the man was about to become an enemy didn't mean he could show weakness either.

Slade entered, dressed in an expensive suit and a fake matching grey eye where normally sat the black eye patch. He could have easily slipped in a crowed of businessman and wouldn't leave a lasting impression, it also told Luthor that whatever was to be discussed valued secrecy while making the possibility of an assassination attempt less likely. Deathstroke had a certain honour, attacking without giving his prey a chance just wasn't his style.

They nodded in greeting and Slade sat down, "if you don't mind my schedule his rather full these days, so lets skip the pleasantries," started the mercenary smoothly. Lex's mind was racing what event could value so much of the mercenary's time? The lack of answers was infuriating, so he forced a polite smile and nodded.

"Inofficial official the city Buldhaven is my territory," stated the man, explaining nothing to Luthor. It wasn't like he would challenge his claim, the city was hatchery for criminals nothing more. And even this aspect was weakening, the former partner of Batman was making the place less welcoming and even motivated a few of the cops to become honest, leading to an interesting question.

"I do believe the oldest son of the Bat has already staked a claim," he replied, Deathstroke wasn't about to kill Nightwing was he? It would be a declaration of war to the older heroes, no matter what childish little dispute they had currently about which methods were okay to safe the world. How anyone could admire people who fought about such a thing, mindless sheep. Yet if he was, he would become the enemy number one, giving people like him a golden opportunity to plot, maybe even to destroy the heroes completely...

"My claim includes the live and well-being of Nightwing, his actions have shown an intelligence and willingness to fight superior to the other heroes. The young man has potential I believe to be wasted in his current social circle," Slade's voice was didn't leave room to question the claim. Yet Luthor wasn't convinced. Sacrificing a few pawns to win a game was hardly a sign for intelligence in his eyes. Wars had been fought like this for centuries, it had been slightly surprising that a hero would do such a thing, yet the smartest child in class for children with special needs was still no future Noble laureate. Furthermore as much information as the young hero had, he really couldn't see him betraying his family and friends.

"You want to turn him into a mercenary?", he asked to clarify, saying it out loud made it sound more like something the Joker would do, was Deathstroke loosing his edge? Or worse, was the high function sociopath becoming a simple psychopath? Who could he hire to terminate the Terminator?

"I'm taking an interest in his skills, he already to agreed to train with me", was the smug reply. His careful posture of polite interest was lost for a moment, this couldn't be true could it? Yet why would Wilson lie about such a thing?

A smirk hushed over Slade's lips, causing him to reach instinctively for the emergency alarm. "The necessary sacrifice he made isn't something the heroes seem to understand, making him question the adults he had come to worship since a very early age. No matter which decisions he is going to make, the path is more than interesting to me, honestly he reminds me a little of myself." No there was nothing insane in Slade's words or actions as far as he could discern. Had the young hero really so much potential? Could the young male become more than a multicoloured copy of the Bat with bad jokes?

"What exactly is my place in your plans?", he asked instead, his mind starting to reëxamine every fact he had about Nightwing.

"I would appreciate if the word spread that any villain of a certain caliber deciding to visit Buldhaven will die a very painful death. Nightwing has still strong bonds to the other heroes and it wouldn't do for them to reconnect during a battle." This sounded like a very careful thought of plan, no delusions just plain facts, lord if Deathstroke really could get Nightwing to betray his friends and family? Was there any hero the golden child didn't have a connection and knowledge of? Image Superman being sold out by his beloved nephew...

"I assure you will get time for your experiment", he said in his best charming politician voice. It seemed as if he just gained a new source of entertainment, either watching a hero fall from grace or seeing the almighty Deathstroke fail...


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: don't own

-so here we go, a little thinking how we got here^^

* * *

Slade looked around his new home.

Two floors and a big garden with many trees near a forest, perfect for someone to enter and escape with the skills to use the trees as path. From the outside the Manor looked expansive, but not alluring enough to possible thieves. Really if one didn't want the stereotypical warehouse a house, carefully balanced between wealth and poverty, was needed. One couldn't boast, it would attract lower criminals searching for a way to proof themselves, nor be to modest, as this would be considered a sign of weakness. The heroes never seemed to realise just how much the chosen base told about the criminal in question, a pathetic display of their mental skills or rather lack there off, giving the hunter in him the desire to just shot them to put them out of their misery. Yet Nightwing already proved himself to be superior in this skill set compared to them, for the powerless boy it had been a matter of survival to learn how to use the terrain to his advantage. Now a days he managed to track the villains down, not with the obscure technology Luthor and Wayne were so depended off, but through pure experience and instinct, following leads from careless criminals like a predator followed its sense of smell.

Sometimes he wondered why he was the only one to see his skills, most of the heroes had powers at their disposal, even the Bat had money and servants to help him. Yet here in Buldhaven Nightwing had neither and still managed to not only hold their level, but surpass them.

His boy was growing up no question about it, already changing without his interference thanks to this god forsaken city. Back in Jump City he had betrayed the people he sworn to protect to save his friends, a flaw which almost made him give up on his first choice of apprentice, it seemed impossible to destroy the loyalty the boy had without destroying something too fundamental in him. A broken shell was useless and he wasn't a temper tantrum throwing child, destroying something just because it didn't work how he wanted was below him. However Buldhaven and being on his own most of the time had changed him, forced him to adapt, to grow up. It had been truly beautiful to watch, proving every hope he had for the young male to be true, yet it also brought him despair. How could he remove the golden child from the spot light? Dick had been very popular as hero and civilian, some of the younger heroes would stay at his place to recover, looking up to him and asking for guidance while the older looked after him their first and, with most of them, favourite child. It had been torture, plain and simple torture, to see the thing he wanted most, a worthy student to teach, an equal to be his companion, an enemy deserving the title and posing a challenge, someone to spent his immortal life with, just out of his reach. There was a mythos of hell similar to his situation, where people starved bound to a place and trees with full apples around them, the smell and view of the ripe objects torturing them worse than physical pain ever could. Watching Nightwing prowl the city, but unable to blackmail him into submission without starting a war with the hero community, had given him a very good idea how they felt.

Yet he waited. lurked in the shadows for an opportunity, once he even played with the idea of letting a lesser criminal disable the hero and offer a weaker form of the serum that changed him as cure, however Oracle, the former Batgirl, already went such a path and still worked as hero. The probability that Nightwing would follow her way was to high and would also take the pleasure of fighting the younger male from him, a possibility he wasn't willing to risk. In took some time but his patience finally had a result, the heroes ignorance of a real battle combined with Nightwing's changing view of the world and hardening character, presented him with a perfect opportunity. A battle gone slightly wrong made the them turn against him as they needed a scapegoat for their own pain.

His own interference was like poison in an open wound, it gave Nightwing a new view of himself and created a cold air of self-righteousness around him which should keep the other heroes at a distance. As long as they didn't realise that Dick was actually hurting they would stay away, believing him to be a heartless, hollow robot and give him time to work with his emotional side. Appearing like the only actually caring person gave him a unique power over the orphan. The fear of losing the last person willing to care about him would keep his mind open for arguments, making him willing to at least think about his words instead of dismissing them blindly.

A trip to the circus was also planned in the future, nothing like the friends of his dead parents assuring Dick that he was doing the right thing. Dead people couldn't speak and living could be bribed or threatened if necessary to give a nice darker story of survival in which his parents were supportive of the taken actions...

For now the well equiped gym should keep Dick entertained and challenging the boy during their training would secure that he worked until he reached his limits, turning the coincidentally guest room next to the gym into Dick's new bedroom, a soon to be permanent arrangement.


	6. Chapter 6

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Disclaimer: a little more of Dick's thoughts, the next chapters will be longer, at least 1000 words^^

* * *

Nightwing looked at the house. A simple two-floor house with a big untamed garden in an unobtrusive colour scheme. If he didn't now that Slade lived here he would have passed the building without a second glance.

On an objective level he acknowledged that he shouldn't think less of himself for it, Deathstroke the Terminator was one of the first generation villains and even among them respected. He was proud of his skills yes, but he wasn't blinded by his pride. He was aware that he would lose if the man really wanted to defeat him, that it might be trap and nobody would come for him. Maybe after a few weeks without him active in the city one hero would get annoyed enough and search for him, too late to help, but at least able to make sure he got a respectable funeral. Or maybe he should inform the older heroes of Deathstroke's new liar and plan an ambush. Get the dangerous criminal behind bars and be done with him, plain and simple. To go to Slade behind their backs, didn't they already think of him as a monster? Wasn't he about to confirm their harsh judgement by accepting Slade's offer?

Yet here he was, about to enter his home not as a hero but as a man seeking knowledge and power by an older more experienced male. Yet it wasn't even about power was it? Slade wasn't the only one stronger than him, finding a material arts master and taking lessons was something he could do as a civilian. He just would have to claim it was for self-defence, end of the story. No it wasn't so easy. The truth was he was here for conversation, Slade claimed to understand him and even, hopefully, if it wasn't the case, there still would be someone to talk to. If it led to arguing all the better, wouldn't it proof that he was no monster? Wouldn't it proof that he might be on a line, but didn't actually cross it? Yes, entering the devil's liar with the intention to pick a fight seemed a little desperate, yet since he couldn't get the heroes to agree with him, getting a murderer to disagree would have to do. It was in the end the same wasn't it?

And if he actually agreed with Slade? Well making a life decision at the age of eight did seem a little rash in retrospective...

* * *

Lex Luthor was annoyed.

Getting information about the Bat's oldest brat seemed easy enough at first, the child had been in the spot light since the first moment he worn those hideous green panties. Yet the reporters of Jump City weren't nearly as interested in the fights than those from Gotham. Instead they had such ridiculous topics like Starfire discovering human things, making the little alien seem like a nice tourist, revolting. Beastboy and Cyborg were treated similar, they made comments of video games, was their tower financed by a game developer? Possible, but not a real matter of interest. Both Raven and Robin kept to themselves, speaking only when necessary. There were seemingly no sceptical politicians, in a word the heroes were trusted.

He would have to do some research on his own, maybe even getting in contact with some of the villains...


	7. Just a little timeline

Summary: Sacrifices are a necessary evil, every soldier worth their title know this. AU set after invasion features an emotional vulnerable Nightwing, heroes to concerned with their own grieve and a manipulative Deathstroke.

Author note:

There was little confusion about the timeline so here we go:

- Dick's parents die and he becomes Bruce's protegé

- he gets shot by the Joker and has a falling out with Bruce

- he becomes the leader of the teen titans

- he becomes Nightwing

. Tim Drake is the current Robin of the Young Justice

- Terra will be ignored, sorry but I just don't like her

. Wally became a side kick shortly after Dick, so they are very close

- sorry if any of you are confused, but I know very little of canon and grew up with fanon, focused on the interaction between Slade and Dick

- maybe I should move this into the Teen Titans section, but it was inspired by fanfics in this section where Dick was treated badly by the other heroes because of his decision


	8. Chapter 8

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now

-new meds lets see how it works for my writing^^

If you like the idea of Deathsroke manipulating Nightwing after the invasion and get an idea, please write something on your own and sent my a link :) As much as I love drama, it gotten too much for my taste.

* * *

_Yes, entering the devil's liar with the intention to pick a fight seemed a little desperate, yet since he couldn't get the heroes to agree with him, getting a murderer to disagree would have to do. It was in the end the same wasn't it?_

_And if he actually agreed with Slade? Well making a life decision at the age of eight did seem a little rash in retrospective..._

Thy gym looked expansive. Enough space for the acrobat to burn some adrenaline and the necessary fixtures as well as high quality fighting equipment. Slade's insignia on anything was missing, making it look neutral, harmless. He most likely could spent hours in here without the slightest tinge of discomfort. No angry glances in his direction or bitter remarks, standing here felt like coming home, finally coming home after the invasion. Dizzy Dick closed his eyes and tried to even out his suddenly uneven breathing pattern.

"So is the place up your standards?" Slade watched Dick carefully, every conscious movement, every unconsciously muscle twitch was recorded not only by him but a few strategically placed cameras for later observation. The first reaction, the almost childish joy, was expected and welcomed. Creating an emotional positive reaction to his home was one step into forming a bond between them. Resistance would be tolerated, his boy couldn't fall from grace for a few shiny trinkets after all. It would make a mockery of his efforts and Dick's character. But the sudden weakness? That would have to go. Dick needed to learn that his so-called heroes were self-righteous, judgmental, the first to throw a stone when something went wrong. His boy deserved better than so backstabbing self-proclaimed good guys, his boy deserved him. The lose of his contacts wasn't a loose, but a chance to grow into becoming his own person. Yet the weakness was not unexpected, the unconsciously ties were still here and even the conscious were only like a cut on a finger. Yes it bleed like a seemingly fatal wound and hurt, but in truth it could be easily mended. emotional wounds were especially tricky, it wasn't as simple as letting time pass to heal all wounds and get the desired result. In his experience time alone only made it worse, turned unresolved emotions into near madness. No what Dick really needed was something new to focus on, to connect his emotional needs to a new person, only then the final cut in form of him taking the serum could be made.

He, Slade, had suffered from the lose of his wife and sons for years. The idea to find an apprentice had been born from desperation to fill the emptiness in his heart, a logical theory no? He loved his sons but Grant had only tried to be like him to make him proud and while he loved his oldest for the gesture it just wasn't the same as truly being like him. It had been like getting a half-dead rat from a cat, a touching gesture but nothing more. Joseph had his own head, a rather soft artist and singer. However after the accident which he caused, which lost Joseph his voice, Adeline made sure he would have no contact to his child. Not that he really fought for it, Joseph was a painful remainder of his failures as husband and father, so he told himself it was better this way for all involved if he kept his distance.

Finding an apprentice seemed like the logical thing to do, a young person like him to guide and raise, a true son or daughter. For the first few months is worked perfectly, his mind was occupied and his emotional state was the one of a child the night before christmas. The anticipation of something great, something just out of his reach would be any moment his. Yet the reality was disappointing. Those who wanted him as teacher were mostly mindless and greedy, in fights they made the same mistakes again and again, it felt like a waste of his time. The idea of training on of the other side of the law occurred him as he saw one of the more promising candidate being beaten by a cop. It got him to think in a different direction, hadn't he started as loyal soldier? Most criminals were a finished product of society, yes a few just wanted to see the world burn, but he didn't want a trigger happy psychopath as apprentice. Turning one with a strong mind against his ideals would be entertaining one way or another. Satisfied he began a new search, yet he was disappointed again, they were either weak, no better than criminals or so steady in their ideals that he would have a broken doll in the end. The news that Robin, the protegé of Batman, left his mentor over an argument intrigued him. At first he had dismissed the child as a mindless child soldier, one given a weapon and being told who to shoot. Disgusting? Yes, but really not his business. Yet that the youth apparently had a mind on his own was fascinating. The adult heroes had strong ideals but children could change as they grew so he decided to change his normal villain clothing for something less threatening. And Robin didn't disappoint, finally a worthy student that didn't disappoint. The boy actually learned from his mistakes, for as much as he growled and insulted when he corrected a move he still listened and learned. His dislike for disrespect mixed with the entertainment of seeing a small creäture act like a big threat, that the insults never crossed certain lines probably saved Robin from a beating or two. The little act as Red X was like the icing on the cake, it showed that Robin valued getting the desired result above questionable means, a character trait which could be exploited and groomed into something great. The invasion was the same on a bigger scale, only this time there were no forgiving friends, this time there only was him...

Obviously startled Dick nodded in answer, " you may warm up however you wish", he said and watched as the younger male started to relax. Yes training was familiar to him and once he reached a good level of adrenaline and serotonin from it he would be ready for their first real training and maybe a few words. A real conversation would be too soon today. The boy needed to become too addicted to the warmth of his home and him, otherwise he would run and most likely never trust him again.

"What about you?" asked Dick while looking at Slade in a neutral tone.

"I will do some push-ups" he answered softly and gestured to corner with a training mat and Dick relaxed further, yes it was important to let a wild creäture become slowly used to it's new environment.

After a quick warm up Dick started to do some light exercises on the acrobatic equipment and Slade watched as a smile found it's way on the acrobats face slowly blooming into a full, carefree grin, just as planned...


	9. Chapter 9

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

-new meds are working good? I think they do^^

-the heroes are no monsters, just to get that clear here, enough character depth?

* * *

_After a quick warm up Dick started to do some light exercises on the acrobatic equipment and Slade watched as a smile found its way on the acrobats face slowly blooming into a full, carefree grin, just as planned._

Slade moved carefully, like a cat of prey, intent on not to startle its prey. If he got this right an important part of the battle would already be won...

* * *

Wally just didn't know what to do anymore. Honestly he kind of expected for things to go back to normal on its own. They would fight or at least train together regain some trust and remember the good times, end of the story, no need for some emotional chick flick moment. However it didn't happen, Dick seemed to grow more and more distant each day. The previous warmth his friend gave like a little sun diminished. At first it got uneasy warm, almost like the blue bird was pitying them. Some whispered words turned spiteful while others got thoughtful, especially from the younger ones led by Tim, Nightwing was an established hero and if he treated them like children who didn't understand something ... couldn't he be right? Even he got to a point where he questioned if maybe, just maybe, they were the one being unfair, the ones who need to get their principles straight. In a different life this could have been the start of a conversation, of understanding, of peace and everything going back to how it should be.

However what little empathy for Dick bloomed got quickly destroyed as the hero began to become arrogant. A word he never expected to connect to his best friend, yet it was the best way to describe the slight mocking smile on his lips and the cold air of superiority around him. The temperature seemed to droop when ever he entered the room, making one feel inferior and small. What had been slight disdain grew into a mixture of disgust and, dare he say, _fear_. It was almost as if a priest looked at you only to find you lacking. Admittedly the most sensible thing to do would be to talk to Dick about everything, yet nobody could bring himself to do it. They wanted to talk to him, yes, but they were too afraid of the answers from this cold, judging creäture. It just didn't make any sense, their friend should never be cold. The change was too much for the younger ones to endure, it scared them. So they followed the adults who didn't change, those which thought themselves superior to the first child hero, those who dismissed his behaviour as a teenagers erratic mood swing to deal with a difficult situation. Those who thought that Nightwing simply needed time and deal with it on his own. At least if the few conversation fragments he had gotten where anything to go by...

* * *

Dick smiled at the pure pleasure of simply being able to move filled him. Slade's company was easy enough to ignore and the obviously new equipment was great, making him feel like a child which just had gotten a new toy to play with. In jump he heard the soft sound of someone clearing his throat in a polite way to draw attention to oneself, ending he move he landed on a mat on the floor and looked to Slade only to find the man uncomfortable close to him, how could he have missed him moving across the room? Nevermind, he took a small breath to relax himself, Slade wasn't going to hurt him after he took it to himself and bought this house just for his, Dick's, entertainment. Yes, he knew that the older male was up to something, it was part of his nature as far as the hero was concerned. Yet he was a very social person and Slade was the best company he had in weeks. After all it couldn't hurt to play with fire just a little bit...

"You don't regret saving billions of lives do you?", asked Slade almost rhetorically and he was somewhat to answer with a 'are you stupid' teenage look but kept himself from doing so.

"As a hero it is my job to save people", was all he said in a slightly amused voice, as if the question itself was stupid.

"You can't really respect those who don't understand your decision, can you?", the answer was sadly obvious, because no, he couldn't. Weak civilians didn't deserve respect, they had no idea of the real world. Yes, they were to be protected and cared for, like small children, but to respect them? Absurd.

"I don't respect civilians", he answered simply and could actually feel the smugness radiating from the older male. _What the hell?_

"Can you really follow the orders of people you don't respect Dick?", the voice dropped to an almost hypnotic whisper, a small part of him wanted to run but something hold him back. Was it_ fear or anticipation?_

"No...", he trailed off, _run_ he should _run_ told him a small voice in his mind. Yet a bitter one asked in return 'where to?', if he turned away Slade wouldn't he be _alone_? So terrible_ alone_, it left him with only one choice, to _stay._

_"_Questioning orders is a danger for every soldier involved, the most sensible thing to do is to leave those who you don't think are fit for command. Those who won't back you up, because of their self-righteousness", 'weak civilians have no right to give me orders', it wasn't even a thought it was just there like the answer to all of his problems. His head moved on its own to nod, because yes, he couldn't trust civilians to be a real back up, they only would get in the way. Hell it would be saver to work on his own. Realisation hit him like lighting, that was Slade's point wasn't it? But he had to hadn't he? They would only endanger him and not understand if he endangered them for a necessary move. Now a days they would most likely start a decision over his order in the middle of a battle. No, just no.

"I'm going to have to quiet my membership in the JJ don't I?", Dick half asked, half stated. Slade nodded seriously and then pulled him into a hug, he didn't resist and even leaned into his touch, the decision made.

"Don't worry kid", Slade whispered soothingly into his ear," I would never abandon a fellow soldier", not daring to speak he simply nodded, he believed, he trusted...


	10. Chapter 10

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

- 7 reviews in one day? I got to be truthful, you bought this update^^

- character development understandable so far?

* * *

Dick took a deep breath in, enjoying the fresh air on top of Buldhavens biggest church.

Minutes ago he told the founding seven that some distance between himself and the others was needed. Official he was still a hero and even had the codes to enter the rooms of the headquarter, yet he only would be called for when an emergency of apocalyptic proportion happens. And even than, considering their last battle like this, he would hardly be part of an important team, rather we would be tasked with getting some of the civilians out of danger and let the others fight. As if those weak civilians had any idea how to plan a battle. They were old, they expected the battle to go a certain way and had no idea how to act if it didn't work. Yes, he had been beaten often, the title boy hostage didn't came from nothing, yet it tought him how to think during a battle. If it came down to it he would ignore their orders and most likely save the world again, only to get scorned for his methods. Heroes indeed...

A loud scream ripped him from his musings, there three streets away was a woman attacked by a man. Coming closer he recognized the woman as one of Lady Kitsune girls, the head of a group of prostitutes, it explained why no cop was there as most believed the women deserved what every they were getting or rather believed the clients story of the events. Still angry at the other heroes he swiftly attacked the man, even the sick sound of breaking bones couldn't pull him back out of his red haze at once. The hug broke his haze, the man was a bleeding mass on the street and the woman was crying in his neck. Unsure he patted her on the back, careful only to touch clothed skin, which only made the woman sob harder.

"Thank you", she finally said as she got herself together, "the man had terrorized me and my friends for nearly a week now. With an ugly smug smile she looked at the bleeding man and gave him a kick in the rips. The hero was in a war within himself, the criminal was done and hurting him was abuse, yet the woman was so grateful and it made him feel great. Having Slade agree with him was one thing, but to be acknowledged as a hero by a real civilian brought him a strange sense of peace, so he ignored the abused criminal.

"Just doing my job", he answered with in a light voice and a confident grin, causing the woman to giggle.

"Great work sugar if I can do anything for you in return handsome?" she offered in a suggestive tone.

"Names of criminals would be helpful", he replied simply, ignoring the offer completely and she gave him a curious look.

"How could I reach you?" asked the woman and Dick told her to meet again on the same place tomorrow. Once he left with the criminal over his shoulder the woman called her boss and told her everything including the offer.

Not so far away a red-head known as Lady Kitsune thought about the possibilities of a pet hero had...

* * *

At the police station the cops looked at him with open curiosity, normally there goody two shoes hero would bring his prey in perfect condition, this turn of events was new.

Samuel, an old sergeant asked what they all were thinking," what happened to the guy".

Nightwing gave the man a cold look, he was sick and tired of being questioned as a hero so replied in a dangerous low voice," what he deserved, anyone got a problem with it?"

Silence meet him until Samuel burst into a fit of laughter," glad you finally a real cop kiddo," he brought out and squeezed the stunned heroes shoulder. Looking around he was met with silent approval and some more amusement. Slightly confused he nodded and left the building, rumours spreading like wildfire in his wake.

* * *

This was bad. Wally had no idea how do describe it in an other way. Their friend all but quiet the team and to what? Dick was a very social person not to mention where the hell their friend should train? This whole situation was getting ridiculous and when he saw it, admittedly not the brightest person, why the heck was no one else doing anything? Well being a hero meant to do the things when one asked why is nobody doing anything didn't it? Time to pay the blue bird an longer over due visit.

* * *

Slade watched with a deep sense of satisfaction as Dick entered his home and started to train on his own. Having him quiet his place in the team killed two birds with one stone. The younger male would have to come to him to train and the chance of him getting back together with his friends got slimmer each day. Now for the next step, make the younger male financially deepened on him. A few words how the whole act as civilian was bad for his skills should do the trick, if the boy really wanted to maintain a civilian identity than he could do some online college classes. Really, he thought with distaste, acting as a civilian was a waste of time and it couldn't be good for his boys mental health either. No it would mean more time for training and less chances of Dick getting any ideas from conversations around him, in his delicate state of mind other sources of influence must be cut down, who knew what could happen otherwise?


	11. Chapter 11

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

-my muse is working again^^

* * *

Dick relaxed as he finally returned home or rather Slade's home he corrected himself mentally. He knew he had done the right thing, staying with his backstabbing former friends would have slowly driven him insane. In a way it felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, no more judging looks, no more cold remarks, he could finally enjoy being a hero again. How the hell Slade fit into the whole mess was beyond him to be honest. Yes the man had wanted to turn him into a criminal before but now? Criminals didn't save the world, did they? He felt heroic, the support from Buldhaven's civilian was a little disorienting but not unwelcome. Yes the prostitute shouldn't have kicked the man on the floor, yet who was he to tell the people they couldn't take the law into their own hands? Really thinking about it, it felt rather hypocrite to be honest. Hadn't he done the same thing since the tender age of eight? Just because they didn't dress up for it like the heroes they have to be punished? It wasn't like he was killing anybody was he? Maybe breaking a few bones would be an improvement? With an arm bound the criminal would have a hard time to commit new crimes. Satisfied with his own moral reasoning he continued to train his peace, dismissing Slade's action as too complicated for him to grasp. All the while the heavy weight of the older male's gaze on his form was a welcome comfort.

How to approach this sensitive subject? Dick valued his independence, a character trait he respected in general. But right now he hated it, it made things almost ridicules complicated. The younger male had his own mind and he didn't want to break him, didn't want a mindless dog to follow his orders. Yet making Dick financially depend on him, making him trust him like a child trusted its parents to provide and care, would be such a big step towards the final goal. How to get there? Theoretically he could pull a few strings with the government to get Dick fired but there were too many things which could go wrong. For one Dick could get suspicious and figure it out, destroying any chance at gaining his trust. Another could be that the government become interest in the young male and offer him a job. Dick could have his happy end there, people who acknowledged him as the Wayne heir with a mind of his own and skills to match. No he needed to be kept away from the public eye, especially as he just quiet the hero community, proving himself to be more than a mindless follower of the Bat. Now he would be considered an easy target be it to kill him or use him as leverage against the other heroes. And once that happened his claim would be known. Luthor should be able to keep his word or Superman would have one enemy less. A sudden flash of red stopped his train of thoughts. Dick had hurt his hand and it bleed slightly, nothing serious but he reacted instinctively to the sight of blood. Yes the boy would train here and hurt himself, giving him a weaker version of the serum could heal it and make him depend on him. Not in a drug addict sort of way, those people were pathetic to be honest, no but the younger male would be driven to keep himself up and defend the city on his own without calling for help. Taking the serum would be a matter of pride and not of addiction.

Tired he looked towards the older male, training under the watchful gaze of Slade was strangely familiar in a way he didn't want to think about.

"You can stay here", said Slade as he stopped moving. Well that was not nearly as shocking as it should be. Of course there was a spare room for him, probably better than his own god damn flat. But why?

"And you sleep on the sofa?", he asked instead in a lightly. It couldn't sound as if he demanded information but getting him to talk could be succesful.

The amused smirk could be counted as strike," I have enough space here", yes, he expected as much. Well, he was in costume he still needed some clothing to sleep in. Now to tease the man a little.

"And how should I sleep, nude or are you giving me a t-shirt of yours?", he wondered out loud with a teasing smile on his lips.

A low chuckle and a second smirk," until you have some clothing here you can borrow one of mine", Slade answered. What the hell? Why should he have clothing here? The smile was starting to feel forced, yet if he decided to run he would never get answers. So he nodded and followed Slade to a room as big as his own apartment. One night couldn't hurt could it?

* * *

Where the hell was the blue bird? Wally looked confused around the heroes flat. The clothing was still there and even some weapons to be repaired, showing that the place was clearly used. Maybe he still patrolling? Yet would he be welcomed if he stayed here? The pictures of the other heroes were taking down and it scared him to be honest. He was still their friend wasn't he? Feeling ill he left the apartment in search for their wayward bird.

This couldn't really have happened could it? Yet the information were clear Nightwing had left the safety and control of the other heroes. Lex Luthor looked at the report before him with a mix of shock and dark amusement. To him this action wore Slade's mark in neon bright letters. If he could get Nightwing away from his family...


	12. Chapter 12

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

- my muse is working again^^

-** no slash but maybe a few jokes about it too lighten the mood.**

- okay I ask again, is the general character development in a good pace?

- short chapters? Well for me are 1000 words like one a-level exam so sorry but if nobody will translate my original german writing into english than we all have to wait^^

* * *

Wally was starting to panic, Nightwing wasn't to be found anywhere. If it wasn't for the apartment he might have thought that Dick simply left the city for a new start. Unbidden images of his friend being tortured entered his mind, he wasn't in contact with the other heroes, the perfect time for some sicko to strike. What if someone was hurting their friend? Yes, he had messed up, but who didn't once in a while? Feeling sick he continued his search with new fervor, determined to safe his friend.

This was far too comfortable to be healthy Dick thought in the expansive bed. It was just too perfect, the colours kept in a light blue, his personal favourite. A big window almost as big as the wall facing the impressive garden. The dim natural light. It was so soft and peaceful and really shouldn't be anywhere near someone who earned his money through the death of others. Yet here it was, yet here _he_ was. Even the t-shirt with the man's scent covering his body was starting to feel nice. The familiar scent gave him a strange feeling of peace and lulled him into the restful dreamless sleep.

Slade watched the sleeping hero with a satisfied smirk through a camera. On an unconscious level the youth already felt like he belonged here, belonged to him. A few weeks of this life would ensure that Dick became deepened on him for comfort. Reluctantly he closed the window on his pc screen and took an empty traveling back. When Dick asked he could tell him that he just wanted to get a set of fresh clothing for him ready, yet they both would know better wouldn't they? However the attention starved child would never tell him to stay away and leave his home, he would most likely make a bad joke and accept the situation. Secure in his plan he left his home to visit the heroes apartment.

* * *

What the fuck? Wally watched with a sudden sence of dread as middle-aged man entered his best-friend apartment and took some clothing out of the drawers. His search had been fruitless and he had hopped to find Nightwing at home in the safety of his old bed. And what did he see instead? Some old, the man had white hair, freak with a travel back packing Dick's civilian clothing into it. Seeing the man at his friend's underwear drawer broke him out of his stupor. The hell he would just stand there and watch while some old pervert took Dick's underwear. Ignoring that he was still in costume he jumped to a window and knocked on it.

One steel-grey eye focused on him and he would have taken a step back if it had been possible, taking a calming breath he knocked again.

This was an unexpected development to say the least and Slade hated it. He knew that the young hero was a close friend of Dick and if they were to come in contact now it could ruin his plans. Simply ignoring the little hero would make him most likely curious and follow him leading to a confrontation far to early in his plan. So he opened the window and asked rather rudely, "yes?"

The old guy was giving him the creeps, he wanted to have an actual reason to throw him into prison, a man like this could not not be guilty of something. "What do you think you are doing he here?", he demanded in his best serious tone.

"I'm getting a few fresh articles of clothing for Dick, he can't be nude all the time, no matter how comfortable he is to be so in my home", he answered lightly, there watching the heroes expression was even better than a punch too his face for being rude to him. He knew what he was implying with his words, it should keep the young hero at distance for the time being.

No, just no, Wally refused to believe what his mind just concluded. Yes, Dick was attractive and had an admittedly hard time, but he would not just spread his legs for some sort of recognition, would he? The man looked older than Bats for crying out loud. Feeling ill he watched as the old guy took the apartment key from his pocket.

"He gave me the his key", added Slade as if proving his point. Wally nodded and practically fled from Buldhaven, leaving a smug looking mercenary behind.

* * *

Dick awoke to the sweet smell of coffee drifting into his room. With a groan he turned around, hopping to slip back into his restful sleep. The nights before had been filled with either blood or horrible cold nothingness or simple being unconscious from training too much. It had gotten to a point where he prefered the later. His sleep now had been a warmth comfortable nothingness, he had felt secure for some reason, the obvious answer of being near Slade was simply ignored. Lifting himself up he sat in his bed and saw a travelling back at the floor next too him. Curious he left the bed and opened the back, inside where a few pieces of his civilian clothing as well as a picture of his parents and his stuffed toy elephant. Theoretical, he realised, he had every thing here which mattered to him, the question was did he want to?


	13. Chapter 13

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

- there were some pro and negative comments towards slash? Would anyone want a slashy version of this? Wally/Dick and Slade/Dick primary

* * *

_ Theoretical, he realised, he had every thing here which mattered to him, the question was did he want to?_

Slade had been nothing but kind to him in the past few days. Getting him his clothing and his most valued possessions could be considered an act of kindness, too. But the question remained why? Yes the man mentioned the military and while Slade left the service it was still in his every movement and a big part of his mind, just like being an acrobat was part of him. So it was something like kinship? Yes, they didn't agree on everything but... . His so-called allies and their behaviour had hurt him deeply, theoretically they were on the same side but practically? He knew they wouldn't trust him and he had lost his trust and faith into them. They were just too different, just not like him, just not like Slade. For as much as he had denied it in his past, Slade was a lot like him. In his teenage years it had been one of the worst insults to be compared to the man, but now he wasn't sure anymore. The bad guys were supposed to be bastards and annoying while the good guys were supposed to be nice and caring. Why was the bad guy kind and the good guys utter bastards? The world just didn't make sense anymore and he felt lost. Feeling like a little child he took the stuffed toy elephant and went back to bed. Hopping to awake to a world which finally made sense again.

Slade watched the movements critically, a lot of sleep was a sign of depression. Dick wasn't a person to hold a grudge for long, so for him to get a depression once the first fumes of anger died done wasn't much of a surprise. At least he had the little stuffed toy, a prove of his parents love, it should keep the worst thoughts at bay. Now, with the blind self-righteousness which got him through the days fading away it was time for something new to fill the gapes, not poison to break him down but steal to built him up.

* * *

With a little breakfast tray as excuse he entered Dick's room, the younger male turned him, good his reflexes were still in good condition.

"You steal, you kill, you are bad, a criminal", said Dick slowly in a soft voice, it wasn't insulting just stating facts.

Slade nodded, no reason to deny the truth.

"Why are you helping me?", the hero finally asked while clutching the toy tightly to his chest.

"You know I have a sense of honour don't you?" he asked calmly no matter how rude it was to answer a question with a question.

"Yes, I know", Dick replied," you consider me a fellow soldier in a way don't you?", trying to make sense out of Slade's kindness.

Yes he could work from the angle," you are more like me than like the heroes", he stated and watched with a sense of satisfaction as Dick nodded. "They don't understand the world, they are like little children seeing everything in black and white", he continued, " you are starting to see everything in grey don't you?"

"Why aren't the good guys behaving like good people, why are you, a murderer, better as a human being than them?" , spilled from Dick with a look of desperation on his face.

Slade stepped closer to him and sat on the edge of the bed pleased as Dick didn't make a move to get away, " the real words has so many shades of grey, there are no absolutes. Some people need to be killed to stop them, however that does not mean that you should be like your little brother. Killing because they kill, what makes that you? God's judge? Those self-righteous psychopaths are pathetic. Tell me do you know the epistemology child?"

"Do you believe in that theory?" Dick asked completely focused on Slade.

"We know what we can prove and we can never fully understand the world", he agreed," I know for a fact that the world got to be a better place as I killed certain people as for the others, if I hadn't taken the job than another would have. There is good in the world and bad, am I evil for taking advantage of it?"

"Killing is bad", stated Dick again in a weak voice and Slade moved closer and whispered," the murder of you parents was bad, a little criminal trying to prove a point by killing innocents. But getting paid for killing terrorists, saving innocents, is that bad, too?"

A pained expression crossed Dick faced," if killing can be right, than what is right?" he asked, almost in a whine.

"Your own code of honour tells you what is right and wrong, saving billions for the price of a few is already a part of it isn't it?" , it was almost rhetorically on his part, yet Dick nodded anyway," and do you consider yourself a bad or even evil person?" There this was important, his key argument...

"I saved many people I'm a good person", Dick's voice gained confidence, "saving people if I can help them is a part of my honour code", his voice had reached a clam self-confident tone.

"And killing can be a necessary evil", Slade added smoothly and after a moment of silence ... Dick nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

- this fic will remain pure gen, however I have a few slashy ideas so I may write a few little drabbles with porn in a separate collection

* * *

_"And killing can be a necessary evil", Slade added smoothly and after a moment of silence ... Dick nodded._

I can never return to them, realised Dick as his muscles moved. Killing a psycho before the person could bomb a city was the right thing to do wasn't it? Yes, he could do it, he would do it once it came down to it. He didn't even use the word 'if' in such a scenario, the world was a place where such things happened. But murderers used to be evil, plain and simple. Now? Now everything was muddy, grey, and he hated it.

"Where is the line?", he asked, his voice getting weak again, he desperately wanted a line to guide him," where is the line between killing because you really help and killing because you are a criminal?" It almost made him want his old world back, ignore the bad guy and follow the older heroes because this was how the world used to spin, but his decision was right and he still a good person wasn't he? No, he wouldn't go back, he wouldn't be blamed for their ignorance. He still helped and saved people, he simply didn't feel like the bad guy the other heroes wanted him to see in him.

Slade leaned forward and Dick rested his head on the man's shoulder, seeking the comfort the older man offered to him. "Every thing you chose to do or just don't do has consequences. In the heat of a battle you can't have a moral discussion so you need to make them before, if you don't you will only suffer of an emotional backlash again. The invasion and your depression were a prime example for it, you made the right choice but you weren't consciously prepared. I know you don't want this answer, but child, the simple truth is that there are no lines. There are grey areas and currently you are moving in one of them."

Dick pulled back," than tell me oh great one", he demanded in an angry, slightly sarcastic tone," how do you get through this mess with your stoic attitude?"

Slade simply chuckled and pulled Dick back to him, "What others may think of as cold behaviour, as heartless, is in truth nothing but a professional prepared person who fully understands his actions and the consequences of it. Yes, being to a war, being forced to kill to survive, made it easier for me to understand. There is a mutual understanding you kill or the other man will kill you and the enemy understands because he thinks the same thing. It is much more complicated in this so-called civilized world. Every life is a part of something bigger and you have to decide if the consequences are good or bad before. Being a mindless minion is easy, but being a professional mercenary is complicated at times."

"All you are doing is giving me more questions", replied Dick in a tired voice, his head still on the older man's shoulder.

"If you want to be a mindless follower than you are wasting my time kid", answered Slade in a suddenly cold voice,"I understand you are tired child", the tone had gotten soft again," since we agree that killing can be times at right I will train you and we see which of those questions actually concern you."

He needed those skills didn't he? Yes and honestly who was better to teach him than Deathstroke the Terminator? But still one more thing bothered him," what do you gain from this?" asked Dick finally as he turned to look into the steel-grey eye.

"Someone I can be proud of to call my apprentice", answered Slade.

This was not nearly as much of a surprise as it could have been, but why not? Bruce lack of action as one of the founding seven spoke for itself and it wasn't like he would lose any contacts by staying with Slade was it? As his apprentice he represented the man so he would get the best equipment money could buy, the gym was already an appetizer for it, wasn't it? So why not?

"How exactly does one train to kill", he asked honestly curious.

* * *

Okay how the hell should he react? Wally had a minor break down as he realised just what his best-friend was doing to make himself feel better. Admittedly there were worse things than sex, but sex with a guy who could pass as his grandfather? That was just nasty. For crying out loud he hadn't even known that bird brain swung for the same team, anyway not really any of his business. Now if Dick was staying with the guy he couldn't just wait for him at the apartment. Hopefully next night he could catch the blue bird in action and get a conversation without involving curious boyfriends...

The sly devil, Lex Luthor wasn't a man to be easily impressed, but seeing the news about Nightwing's leave just screamed of Slade's work. If the boy wasn't already claimed he might have tried to use the situation to his advantage. The child had more information than any computer of the other heroes and human's could be far more easily be broken down to give those information away. Honestly just how stupid could the heroes be? Nevermind it wasn't his problem, yet it could become his advantage the wonderful thing about mercenaries was that they had a price or maybe Slade might be pushed into gloating about his success. He had a feeling that this was going to become something big and Lex Luthor was never a man to miss an opportunity.


	15. Chapter 15

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

-no update tomorrow sorry, so hope you enjoy this^^

* * *

Tin cans, this had to be a god damn joke.

Dick had eaten his breakfast alone, showered and dressed into a comfortable set of civilian clothing, there was little doubt in his mind that he would stay in this Manor for the next time, so he might as well get comfortable here. Slade had waited for him outside 'his' room and gestured for him to follow. The time he had for himself he had once again thought about the topic of killing. Yes, he would kill to save the life of others, if a man didn't respect this basic law why should he be protected by the law? The realisation wasn't nice but it wasn't horrible either, in a way it was like speaking out load an uncomfortable truth. Before his own hurt feelings of his parents death had made it easy for him to see the world as black and white, like his former mentor still did. To think taking a life could be the right thing had been like a sacrilege. Like saying his parents murder was okay. Yet Slade had said that there were differences and he couldn't help but agree. Killing a few harmless civilians was still an absolute no-go for him, but a mob boss or a terrorist? This had become a big maybe. And it made him different to Zucco didn't it? Zucco had been a mindless minion, nothing like Slade who could refuse a job, nothing like the man he was becoming.

With a sense of inner peace he had left his room and was greeted by the sight of the mercenary waiting patiently for him. With a mix of fear and anticipation he followed the man through the big house into a small chamber. There were several tin cans on one table and a gun. Slade wanted him to shoot on tin cans? Seriously? He hadn't known what to expect, yet he felt a pang of disappointment. His emotional rollercoaster ride for this? With an annoyed 'you got to be kidding me' look to Slade he took the gun. Dick's bravery did done as he felt the weight of the gun, images of the Joker before him flashed through his mind, how the villain had laughed at he shot, how Bruce wasn't there to save him. No, he was a different person now. He had lost the faith in Batman, he had lost the faith in the hero community to save him, to always be there for him. It was time to stop acting like a child and become the person to save others, not just to help and clam the civilians like he had down in so many other mission before. Slade's shoulder brushed his softly and he gave the man a small nod, slightly embarrassed for his little panic attack to simply hold a gun.

Dick aimed for the tin in the middle and hit the target at once, the first second he felt triumphal until something red spilled out of the tin can. His parents were hitting the ground, spraying blood everywhere played through his mind as he crumbled down on the floor. Tears spilled from his eyes as the older male kneeled next to him and pulled him into a hug.

Slowly calming down he looked at Slade with a confused expression, "what the hell was that", he got out and the older man gave him a sympatric look.

"This was an old part of my training as soldier kid, knowing why you kill is one thing, but to see the blood in a different topic, this was red paint nothing more but you can't go out with a gun until you are ready to see the blood spill from their bodies. Theory and praxis are two different things and you can't have a mental breakdown in the middle of a fight child."

The hero nodded, a flashback like this might as well get him killed or kidnapped and tortured for their amusement. "Red paint, I just had a break down because of a tin can which leaked red paint", he said in a slightly mocking tone.

"You and about 80% of the soldiers kiddo. This wasn't anything to be ashamed of, it shows you won't start killing to see blood, but because you made a logical decision, you just have to get used to the sight of blood spilling as a consequence of your actions", said Slade in a reassuring voice, "now I leave you alone to train a little, either here or play in the gym, both would be fine, just don't go back to sleep."

"The gym is great", said Dick, feeling himself calming down," I think I will train a little and return here later."

* * *

10 am and no sight of the blue bird. Wally felt a little sick as images filtered through his mind just why Dick might be busy right now. A red-head chick wouldn't have been a surprise, he had thought those were Dick's type and he could live with his bro having sex with a hot red-head, but a guy with white hair? Uhg, no, just no. He hadn't bothered to return, what had started as a quick idea to talk to Dick had become an obsession as he realised that the bird's life was moving on and he might not be a part of it anymore. Honestly he kind of expected things to return to normal, not for Dick to move on, to move away. The twist of events scared him...

Lex Luthor leaned back in his car, watching the scenery drive by. He wanted more than Slade's impression he wanted one of his own and maybe the ones of a few civilians. One of his bodyguards should easily enough be able to slip into a bar and get the news as long as he tipped well.


	16. Chapter 16

Summary: should be known by now^^

Disclaimer: should be known by now, the picture is the wonderful actor Matt Bomer don't own either^^

- what do you think of Dick's development?

- you now the point where you finally notice that you screwed up? Got that yesterday and now that I have lots of things to do my muse is working again. Bitch^^

-okay next chapter Lex Luthor sees Dick, villain or hero, kind of decides how long the story goes...

- how about this story leading straight into the renegade arc? My muse just got a basket full of ideas^^

* * *

10 am

Dick didn't feel like going back into that room, he felt weak for his panic, yet he didn't try to train himself out of it on his own. As one of the few humans in the hero community he had never allowed himself to show weakness in front of them. He always felt like he needed to prove himself as worthy, but being weak in front of Slade? The man still cared about him, still wanted him didn't he? It gave him a feeling of safety, _Slade_ gave him a feeling of safety. And what did this realisation mean for him? He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer...

Slade watched as Dick slowly started to train and relax out of his scare. While the lesson wasn't a brilliant success it wasn't a total failure either. The boy didn't refuse the gun, as for the panic attack. Yes Dick saw a lot of blood, but being the one to draw it was a different matter all together. It was like an unspoken code of the heroes, heroes don't draw blood. Terrible close-minded? Yes. But he had to allow Dick a little freedom there, he couldn't be blamed for his guardian's teachings, that he was willing to reconsider was a huge step in itself. To escape the black and white mindset of a hero would build a wall between himself and the others which wouldn't be destroyed.

Now what should he do about Luthor? His pride demanded to show of Dick's new attitude towards the topic of killing, maybe a lecture while the boy was shooting empty tin cans? Yet, how would Luthor react? If his project seemed like a failure than the other man would be smug and wouldn't bother with Nightwing again, but if he showed the possibility of success? Than Luthor would make plans on hos own, the question was if it could be beneficial to his plans or destroy them. He couldn't let his pride be his downfall...

2 pm

Okay blue bird, anytime now thought Wally as he waited in Buldhaven for Dick to appear in the sky. It was a little early yes, but who knew maybe he had luck? Al the waiting was getting to him, yet he couldn't bring himself to think about anything but Dick. Would it have killed anybody to go and talk to Dick after the whole affair? The thought kept swirling sardonically through his mind. Not talking to Dick couldn't have been healthy for either of them could it? If they just talked or insulted each other the air would be cleared, but now? Now he was waiting for Dick to stop spreading his legs for some old guy. Wally didn't even know what to say to the other hero._ 'Your family no matter what happens', 'act like yourself again, because right now you are scaring me'_, fuck he never meant to for Dick to feel abandoned. That's why he was fucking with the old guy wasn't it? He felt alone and needed company and the man looked he could have been a police officer, maybe an officer who had been kind to Nightwing? Yeah that was the answer wasn't it?

4 pm

Dick looked at his Nightwing suit, feeling oddly wrong to change into it. Wintergreen had served him a light meal and he felt ready to beat the crap out of some criminals. His hero name had been from a kryptonian legend, a show of respect to Clark. The respect had disappeared and now he found himself unwilling to wear it, it just wasn't really him anymore. He gracefully sunk down into a lotus sit and closed his eyes.

"Are you alright?", interrupted him a smooth voice and he looked up to see Slade looking intently at him. This wasn't expected and it unnerved the older male. That Dick hadn't gone back into that room was fine with him, to be honest he prefered to be with him in such a delicate situation, but now? What was the problem?

"It feels wrong", was all he answered and gestured towards his suit," this isn't me anymore", he trailed off unsure of himself and the world. Why didn't it feel right anymore? Was it just because of Clark? He still was a hero wasn't he? So it shouldn't matter what he wore should it?

"The suit?", asked the older male carefully and stepped closer to him. Okay, he could work with that, he welcomed it. What a better way to prove his claim than a change in name for the younger man? Yet how to sell it?

Dick nodded and looked back to the suit. As a child he had been Robin, becoming Nightwing had been his way of showing the world that he had become an adult. Yet he changed again didn't he? From a mindless follower to his person, no? Well he was following Slade, but not mindlessly was he?

"You changed so a change in costume seems only appropriate", said Slade after a short moment of silence. "The general structure is okay, but you need a new name, weapons and maybe a slight stylistic change." he paused and watched as Dick absorbed the words without showing any sign of resistance, good. "I have for changes on my suit, you are free to use it for yourself."

Dick nodded again and rose to his feet. He took the suit and followed Slade without a second thought.


End file.
